Pain is Not a “Comparitition”

Hey, there! AmyK here.

A dear woman I know was laid off from her job last month. When I checked in with her, she quietly shared,

“I can’t complain. My cousin just got diagnosed with cancer.”

And I get it.

This kind of news is devastating.

It shatters the world we thought we were living in.

And … here’s what I invite you to consider: her cousin’s cancer doesn’t cancel out her grief over losing her job.

Wait.

Before you react … let me finish.

We live in a culture that ranks pain. As if some losses are more “legitimate” than others. As if someone else’s heartbreak makes your pain unworthy of acknowledgment.

But our pain isn’t a “comparitition.”

It’s a language of the human experience—and we all speak it.

In different tones.

In different times.

Yes, someone else's crisis can put our challenges into perspective.

It can soften us, humble us, and help us realign our priorities. That’s beautiful.

At times, it can help us get a grip, stop complaining, shift our mindset, or get our head outta our ass. That’s needed.

But perspective needn’t be permission to bypass your own emotions.

In fact, perspective can actually deepen your emotional intelligence. It helps you discern how to share your pain—not to compare or overshadow—but to connect.

To say, “We’re here, together, to witness one another’s journeys,” with gentleness and awareness. When we speak from this place, we’re not ranking pain—we’re revealing our hearts.

We can hold space for both.

We must hold space for both.

You can be heartbroken for your cousin and simultaneously upset about your layoff.

You can be extraordinarily grateful for your health and overwhelmed by your uncertainty.

You can cry for someone else and still tend to the ache inside yourself.

You, right now, may be in some sort of pain -- physical – emotional – mental – spiritual, and even though others in this world are suffering too, your pain is still present and very real. AND yours.

Being Heart-led doesn’t mean you downplay your pain.

It means you learn to witness it—yours and others’—without comparison, without guilt, without shame.

And with a whole lot of compassion and love, for all.

Our hearts are big enough.

Hugs,

AmyK